Adventures In… Detoxing and Withdrawal.

baby…I’m so sick.”   

message pops up on my phone screen… I go into caretaker mode.

are detoxing. Call Dr. East and see what she recommends.”

I mean to say is, “you are having withdrawal symptoms.” She is
though and that is leading to her withdrawal
symptoms… I know, hell I am practically an expert. I watched two of
my mothers and my father go through it with drugs. I went through it
in 2001 with psychotropic medications (Depakote and Paxil and some
other shit I don’t remember) and periodically when I go off
alcohol. Also I just spent the last couple of weeks binge-watching
so yeah EXPERT.

This is Week 3 and  Day 2 for her. She
stepped down on a three week wean with the help of her Psychologist
a new Primary Care Physician who both support her decision to come
off of Effexor.
She has spent maybe half of her life on anti-anxiety meds.

I spent roughly 6 months on meds in 2001, choosing to wean myself
(against medical advice) and to embrace behavior modification and
self-medicating instead… That’s right folks, I was diagnosed with
Postpartum Depression, Manic-Depression (later Bi-Polar Disorder),
Acute Social Anxiety Disorder, and most recently PTSD. I have been
off of all psychotropic medications for 15 years and all medications
for 1 year. My self-medicating vice has been alcohol… I am on  Week
1, Day 1 of an alcohol detox and general system cleansing.

should be fun,
an adventure.

is first time I am openly sharing about my mental health issues and I
am scared as shit. Scared of the judgments, the ridicule, the
sympathy, the apathy… Whenever I have told people in the past about
the diagnoses, I have been met with all manner of reactions
(seemingly much crazier than the diagnoses or news itself). My most
and least favorite has been surprise and disbelief, which is usually
expressed as, “But you (fill in the blank with whatever I do that
seems miraculous for a crazy person).” The truth is I am doing it scared. I am running towards the roar. I am facing my fears…

AWLADAT! And this is no different.

Malaika Salaam, if you are scared and you know how people can be
around issues of mental health and especially the mental health of
black folks, WHY? 

Why do it? Why write it? Why share? Why “put your
business in the streets?”

this is 40. My muthfrikking #MosesYear! I came to reclaim and
reconcile fully all of the parts of me. I came to Get Free, Live
Free, Be Free. It’s #TakeBackSeason and there are some things I am
not scared of that make it ALL worth it!

I am not scared
of: getting better, feeling better, letting go of my pain, hurt, and
“issues.” I am not scared of be healed and whole. I am not scared
of FREEDOM. I am not scared of self-care. 

my closest kin (blood and bond) have known until now because of the
shame and embarrassment. And now as I am watching, loving, and
supporting HER
through her detox and experiencing my own, I am allowing myself to be
open, vulnerable, loved, supported, and cared for in the same way.
This is what Radical and Revolutionary Love look like and I am here
for it. I am here for having a space where I can be and I am welcome
to be crazy with somebody and not have to “tuck it in” or put it
on hold until they are done being crazy and it is my turn again.

this space we have decided to heal together. I will share with you
what we learn as we learn it through blogs and maybe vlogs… I’ll
include lots of info, pics, steps, what is working, and what isn’t

1: Kava Kava

didn’t mean to go into caretaker mode, I just wanted her to feel

counselor said to get Kava Kava…the nurse at my primary care said
to go to the urgent care.” 

choice is hers. She chooses Kava Kava. After dinner, some tears, and
some conversation we make a trip to my guilty shopping pleasure and
secure some Yogi
Kava Tea
for her and Honey
for me (because Lavender is my new addiction); oh and potato chips
because comfort food, tuh! I plan to make a jug, so she always has
some on deck and can carry it with her and sip through the day. The
doctor also approved drops,
which I warn her will taste awful, but if she needs a quick boost
will do the trick.

the hell is Kava Kava anyway? 

is a crop of the western Pacific. A plant, well really the part used
is the root from the plant.The
name kava(-kava)
from Tongan and Marquesan 

that’s cool… Now what is is good for? 

roots of the plant are used to produce a drink with sedative,
anesthetic, euphoriant, and entheogenic properties. Kava is sedating
and is primarily consumed to relax without disrupting mental clarity.
What was specifically interested us about the recommendation was
this> it
is likely to be more effective at treating short-term short term

(hey we have something like that). 

how I made the Kava Kava Tea: 

gallon of filtered water (we have a water filtration system on the
kitchen faucet)
Yogi Tea Kava Stree Relief Teabags
½ to ¾  cup Madhava Organic
Agave 5 sweetener

separate the filtered water into halves. Boil one half of the water
to steep tea bags and the put the other into jug. (I separate it out
so that it can cool evenly and not melt the jug.)
the hot water comes a rolling boil, I place the bags in the pot, and
removed it from the heat source to steep. (I steep the tea bags for
10-15 and I keep the bags, but you can just follow the directions on
the box or whatever).
add  ½ – ¾  cup of sweetener (adjust to taste) and then shake the
whole shit up…
it in the refrigerator to chill and BAM! Kava for the week and on
the go! 

will post as often as I can… Which looks like once a week because
WINSday is always coming…

Like what you see? Follow me
here > Tumblr and here> Instagram and here> Twitter

questions >

make sure to like and share > Purple Hair and Converse K. Thanx.

Next Time…

Lots of Love, Light, and Hope! 

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Pg. 17: Unloading

(Ep. 2, Act 2)

Markesha is really bent out of shape when she discovers her jacket has
been stealthily burdened not once, but twice in the same night.

Markesha’s stubborn nature showed up very early in life, much to the
frustration of her parents. As a toddler she was constantly moving,
trying to climb stairs, digging into dangerous spaces, and finding
herself getting into more elaborate forms of trouble. Blockades were put
up to keep her from exploring stairs or perusing medicine cabinets.
Markesha HATED these limitations throwing monumental tantrums with each
barrier thrown up. While she’d get stumped for a while, more often than
not she’d figure new ways around the gates, locks, and baby-safe
contraptions. Toshi’s still trying to keep his daughter safe and even
though she’s grown up, Markesha still throws tantrums when he does it.

Kamikaze is a weekly dustbowl cyberpunk webcomic that updates every Wednesday!

Need to catch up? Start here.

“Compassion has no limit. Kindness has no enemy.”–#YogiTea
“The present moment is all you will ever have.” –#BuddhaTeas
“WE are perfect women and being perfect is boring to ourselves and others” – #MeditationsForWomenWhoDoTooMuch

The Color Blue Is The Color of Trust and Responsibility.

This color is one of trust, honesty and loyalty. It is sincere, reserved and quiet, and doesn’t like to make a fuss or draw attention. It hates confrontation, and likes to do things in its own way.

From a color psychology perspective, blue is reliable and responsible.

This color exhibits an inner security and confidence.

You can rely on it to take control and do the right thing in difficult times.

It has a need for order and direction in its life, including its living and work spaces.


“Love has no boundary”
“Live through consciousness, not through emotion.”–YogiTea

“I have all I need within me to know and experience my Higher Power. All I have to do is step out of my way.” – MFWWDTM

#TeaRitual #Tea #MyFavoriteCup #Meditation #Trust #InwardJourney #ColorTherapy

The meaning of the color turquoise is open communication and clarity of thought.

Turquoise helps to open the lines of communication between the heart and the spoken word. It presents as a friendly and happy color enjoying life.

In color psychology, turquoise controls and heals the emotions creating emotional balance and stability. In the process it can appear to be on an emotional roller coaster, up and down, until it balances itself.

A combination of blue and a small amount of yellow, it fits in on the color scale between green and blue. It radiates the peace, calm and tranquility of blue and the balance and growth of green with the uplifting energy of yellow.

“Appreciate yourself and honor your soul”
“A relaxed mind is a creative mind” – Yogi Tea

“WONDER is a gift of living. Living is a gift of wonder” – MFWWTTM

#TeaRitual #Tea #Meditation #InwardJourney #ColorTherapy

The color orange radiates warmth and happiness, combining the physical energy and stimulation of red with the cheerfulness of yellow.

Orange relates to ‘gut reaction’ or our gut instincts, as opposed to the physical reaction of red or the mental reaction of yellow.

Orange offers emotional strength in difficult times. It helps us to bounce back from disappointments and despair, assisting in recovery from grief.

The color of adventure and social communication.