The plane is late… It’s ok. My sister told me not to take this plane, because one caught on fire the week that I left Florida. I’m not worried, I’m also not ready to leave. I left Memphis yesterday and I’ll still be there tomorrow. I am always the pivot, sometimes willingly and personally and other times by default.
This is no different, I think “Memphis is my forever love. In between the homes of my coming and going is Memphis, always Memphis.” Memphis is me in between New Relationship Emotion and falling in or out of loves, reconciling past and future. Memphis is birth, death, life, and what lies between. It is my heart, my soul, my friend, my lover. Kinship, relative, and family. And I never leave the same way I came.
When I came, from the East this time, I was all fairy-hair and yoga. Flexing and stretching to fit back into the spaces I left. Checking and rechecking for everything in familiar spaces, in their places. Longing for things to be as close to the way I left them as they can, even though I know they deserve change, have earned change, and are stretching and growing toward their change everyday. Selfishly I impose myself and overextend myself, trying to do it all. I want to sit, see, connect. I want to be everywhere at once. For the ones I see, I am fortunate and filled with joy, love, and strength to travel on a little more. For the ones I don’t see, I am filled with longing, guilt, and shame. I promise next time you will come first and we will have all the time we need.
When I came, I came for a week; I stayed for two. I came to my village, my tribe, and I came to 20 years. I came to sit with, hold space, conjure magick, and heal me. I convened, I communed, observed, learned. I heard what the trees had to say, the wind, the rain, the birds, The Elders, and the Ancestors.
I came feral, wild, ready. And sad. Yes, Sadness about loss, longing, and leaving. Sadness sat with me on the earth, grounded with my feet and palms and thighs pressed to the cool dirt and cold stone. It hung around and with each day and with each admission it loosened its grip, until breathing was easier. Every time I was honest about Sadness, allowed the tears to flow freely, and acknowledged it’s presence , I could breathe. It was work. Hard work. It was so hard that some days I felt a literal ache in my heart and shoulders… a dull, moaning ache in my muscles as they unseized and longed for proper touch.
My heart, as much as any muscle, desired the warm manipulation of heart and mind. My mind desired stimulation, validation, creativity. I wanted people who understood me, had soundtracks to their lives, and random jukebox music in their hands. People who laughed louder, told stories more passionately, held an embrace longer, long enough for vibrations, heartbeats, and breaths to synchronize. I came for the people, my kindred who could finish my thoughts, in word and deed. I abjured duty and obligation and craved love and support as mother’s milk and every decadent thing.
And I revealed itself to me, there. In the pivot between going and coming. It lie in between the different couches; the folds and warmth of the childhood covers of a day bed; it was under blankets as words; it clung to the rim of glasses and spilled forth from one too many pitchers of margaritas. It was the promise of toast and toasts. It was served with all of the fish of the rivers, lakes, streams, and seas to satiate indigenous, water babies. It was brunch. It was in me, my sisters (blood and bond) and family.
Sometimes, I stop and take a picture to capture this moment…
The moment before and after things change…
#PlanningPeriod #iPlan #iTeach #iReady #IntensiveReading ##TeachTheYouth
#ReadingIsFUNdamental #YourKidsFavoriteTeacher
#HopeDealer
#RealLifeMissFrizzle
#NobodyBeatsTheFrizz https://www.instagram.com/p/Bs_P3V_FqRW/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=wr4lvkq50iyg
One day at a time. One hour at a time. One moment at a time. One breath at a time. You’re doing it: sometimes growth is simply being and breathing.
#RP @angelamarinolcsw
via
@frances_cannon
#growth #presentmomentawareness #hereandnow
#behere #breathe
#HopeDealer
#SelfCareIsAnImperative
#SelfCareEvangelist https://www.instagram.com/p/Bsj4LZ8FsNT/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ipclvybij3o6
Saturday morning shenanigans…
We no longer fight the urge to have fanciass breakfast on the weekend, we fully embrace it.
#eatlocal #welovebrunch
#brunchificationritual #wellhavethespecial #imnotveganbecausecheeseandeggs #ilovecheese #HopeDealer #goodfoodisselfcare
#SelfCareEvangelist (at Kay’s Family Restaurant) https://www.instagram.com/p/BsjEl4qFMgK/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=18gdfavps9b2h
Hey y’all hey!
Fresh for 2019, still ouchea reading, teaching, sharing, learning and growing.
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#TeaAndCrystals
#TarotEveryday
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This tea was made especially for me by a dope ass Healer-Wizard @ Ebbo’s in Memphis.
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Working with my mainstays #amethyst #clearquartzpoint #carnelian #onyx #tourmaline #rosequartz #citrine #aventurine
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Cleansed, cleared, and charged my decks and several cards fell out for the #NewYear #NewMoon
#seedsofintention
#medicinewomantarot
#shamantarot
#oshozentarot
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🍵🍵🍵
#GoodmorEning
#MorEning
#Tea
#MorEningTea
#TeaRitual
#TeaTime
#TeaTags
#TeaLeaves
#TeaLover
#LetsDrinkThisTeaSon
#NuthinButATeaThang
#PositiviTEA
#SelfCareEvangelist
#HopeDealer
#latergram
Kindly reverence your hosts and the space that they have created and held for you.
Come with gifts, leave the space better than you came, make room for the next.
💜 🎁 🔮🌌🖤
#hopedealer
#guest
#host
#whenyoustaywithwitches #whenyouvisitwitches #holdingspace #safespace #sacredspace
Purple Hair And Converse 